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Would the real Jesus please stand up so we can recognise you?
by Graeme J. Davidson

Originally appeared in The Dominion Post Religion and Ethics column 29 March 2008

He’s the champion of feminist, heterosexual and gay rights, laissez-faire capitalism and revolutionary socialism. He’s pro the establishment, the Treaty of Waitangi, freedom fighting and pacifism. And, of course, he’s an environmentalist, a save the whales campaigner and a pro family advocate.

... Some of Jesus’ followers had trouble recognising him after he rose from the dead, according to gospel accounts. I sympathise. I’m familiar with the biblical depiction of Jesus as a first century itinerant teacher and healer, an heir to the Jewish throne who falls out with the authorities and is executed mainly for asserting his divine relationship with God. But these days Jesus seems to be on everyone’s bandwagon.
...
He’s the champion of feminist, heterosexual and gay rights, laissez-faire capitalism and revolutionary socialism. He’s pro the establishment, the Treaty of Waitangi, freedom fighting and pacifism. And, of course, he’s an environmentalist, a save the whales campaigner and a pro family advocate. There are books with titles like Jesus Christ — the Master Psychologist, The Lord Christ Jesus was a Vegan, and Jesus was Caesar (which argues Jesus was the divine manifestation of Julius Caesar), while an article asking “Was Jesus a Stoner?” claims he used cannabis for healing. Now, would the real Jesus please stand up so we can recognise you?
...
In his book, Jesus was a Feminist: What the Gospels Reveal about His Revolutionary Perspective, Leonard Swindler says Jesus attracted women followers and broke with the customs of his time to treat them as equals with men – a position denied to them by later males who quickly dominated the Church. Nevertheless, Jesus chose only men as his inner circle of disciples, and St Paul, the first New Testament writer, wrote of how women should have a subservient role.
...
But what about Mary Magdalene of Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code fame? Didn’t she have a close relationship with Jesus and was maybe married to him? And as most Jewish men of the time were married, doesn’t that suggest Jesus was, too? The Bible does tell of Mary Magdalene being possessed of evil spirits and that Jesus healed her. She was among the women at his death and at his tomb - not alone in being a female camp follower of Jesus. And not all Jewish men of the time were married either. Around 43 AD, Philo of Alexandria reported there were 4000 mostly unmarried Jewish men living like monks at Qumran by the Dead Sea.
...
Well, maybe Jesus was gay. Theodore W. Jennings Jr. suggests this in his book The Man Jesus Loved: Homoerotic Narratives from the New Testament. Jesus certainly chose men for his inner circle and the Bible says he had a special relationship with a disciple whom he loved. Loving someone, though, isn’t the same as having sex or even wanting to have sex with that person. The fact is we know virtually nothing of Jesus’ sexuality.
...
Jesus did tell a story praising the servants who invested their master’s money to best advantage. But the point of the story wasn’t to underpin free-market capitalism. In contrast, Venezuelan President Hugo Chàvez recently declared Jesus “the greatest socialist in history”. Liberation theologians echo this view teaching that Jesus had a special affinity with the poor and often suggest a Marxist approach and political activism to overcome injustice, poverty and oppression.
...
The Bible certainly emphasises how Jesus was concerned for the deprived and taught how each of us has an obligation to share resources and help those in need, but this is hardly a vote for a Marxist-Leninist ideology or a centrally run economy based on state-owned enterprises.
...
Jesus’ comment to “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s” is often viewed by conservatives as Jesus being the peacemaker who was pro the established order. Jesus was hardly that. He said he’d come to bring the sword and to divide families. At one point, he encouraged his disciples to buy swords and one of them used a sword in defence of his master. Jesus overturned tables and took a whip to the money-changers in the Temple.
...
So, is Jesus pro the Treaty, the environment, whales and pot? Your guess is as good as mine. But of one thing we can be certain, we’ll persist in making Jesus in our own image.


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Should making more money be your New Year's resolution? >> more
My early life as a black sheep in a nativity scene >> more
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Life after death: Is it logically possible? >> more
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The case for St Judas Iscariot >> more
Exorcism: the ministry of deliverance >> more
Ned Flanders — popular face of Christianity >> more
Seven common myths about religion >> more
Moral divide between church leaders and laity >> more
Unholy silence over MPs hypocracy and greed >> more
Anglican schism over gay clergy inevitable >> more
My agonising path to enlightenment >> more
More than ever, it's a time for generosity >> more
National's ethics smell of political expediency >> more
Pope's visit to the Holy Land fraught with potholes >> more
The resurrection may have been superfluous >> more
Rasputin — from sinner and seducer to saint? >> more
Religious delusions and the Jerusalem syndrome >> more
Protest mild compared with Jesus' vandalism >> more
What Castro and Obama have in common >> more
Holidays can revive romance or widen cracks between couples >> more
Dubious scholarship reinterprets Jesus to fit secular creed >> more
Furore over gay marriage echoes the conflict over slavery >> more
If only politics were as certain as dear old granny >> more
You've got to have faith to win the White House >> more
The problem of evil >> more
TV Programmers let lose Roman circus >> more
Prostitutes welcome in the kingdom of God but not in Dannevirke >> more
Church too busy navel-gazing to take lead over crime >> more
Will the Anglican Church split over gay clergy and same-sex unions? >> more
There's a resevoir of faith in secular western society >> more
The Vatican's pelvic theology presents perverse and confusing ethics >> more
Winners, politics, human rights abuses and the Bejing Olympics >> more
Would the real Jesus please stand up so we can recognise you? >> more
Hypersensitivity perverts ethics and hardwon freedoms >> more
You've got to have God if you want to be President of the US >> more
A three-ghetto church based on politics rather than Christianity >> more
Water bottles, soup can, pigeons and good and bad intentions >> more

Deliver us from evil and exorcists who do more harm than good >> more

More people pray than go to church: but how effective is prayer? >> more
Buddhist monks — masters of non-violence, resistance and kung fu >> more
Was Mother Teresa living a lie to achieve immortality as a saint? >> more
Our fears fuel outrage and double standards over child sex abuse >> more
Spare me those soppy inspirational and pseudo-spiritual emails >> more
Caring organisations attract their share of psychopathic bosses >> more
The new anti-religious evangelists and their faith in science >> more
Interfaith conference call for religious education could backfire >> more
Blessing creatures great and small - but what about blowflies? >> more
Does God exist only in the brain's God spot and on the God gene? >> more
The prudes who want to crucify for want of a loincloth on a chocolate Jesus >> more
Have tomb raiders really found the bones of Jesus and his family? >> more
Jesus loves Osama, an agnostic bishop and other ideas that stick >> more
Why it matters whether God is more like a matchbox or a number >> more  
Confessions of a failed axe murderer who queried religious ethics >> more
Consumer-conscious kids, Bacchanalian festivals and sentimentality >> more
Manners: insignificant social customs at the outer orbit of ethics? >> more
The 109 fighting boys from the Mitchelltown School and District >> more
Trying to exhume the historical Jesus from under 2000 years of faith >> more
Is global violence on the increase? Don't be fooled by what you see on TV >> more
Polygamy, circumcision, atheist journalists and religious diversity >> more
The Christian right stands by Israel out of a misguided theology  >> more 
What a rat taught me about creating successful relationships >> more
Is the Church becoming a retirement hobby for granny clergy? >> more 
Is there an anti-christian conspiracy in Hollywood? >> more
How good a Christian is the devout President George W Bush? >> more
Have church schools sold out on Christianity for secular values? >> more 

Hitler, Lawyers, Politicians SUV owners and life after death >> more

Were the Christian hostages really idiots for peace? >> more
Infidelity: in hot pursuit of a better organsm or better intimacy? >> more
Skulduggery and controversy over discovery of religious texts >> more
The cartoons aren't about secular freedoms versus intolerance >> more

Christian Zionists hinder justice and peace in the Middle East >> more

Should making more money be your New Year's resolution? >> more
My early life as a black sheep in a nativity scene >> more
Different types of suicide bomber: what makes them tick >> more
Cheating a short cut to sucess in winner-take-all society >> more
Life after death: Is it logically possible? >> more
Is it Anglican to practise apartheid? >> more
Da Vinci Code unlocks controversy >> more
Bishops' statement: pompous, pious, out of touch and verging on the heretical >> more 
Church leaders unconvincing over prostitution law reform >> more
Divorce risk factors >> more
How global are we?  A Christian's view of globalisation >> more
Victims of dirty tricks & friendly fire: Machiavellian tactics in the Church militant >> more
A redundant resurrection >> more
War, violence, ethics, religion and hypocrisy >> more
If St Peter was interviewed for ordination today >> more
13 ways to empty a church without really trying >> more
How tolerant is the Museum of Tolerance? >> more
A church comes out and reconciliation divides >> more
Micah's dream — too much to ask? >> more
Has the revised Anglican Church in New Zealand instigated a benign form of religious apartheid? >> more
The case for St Judas Iscariot >> more
Exorcism: the ministry of deliverance >> more

Copyright ©2005
Graeme Davidson

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